Mundus Casus Pars Duo

Thursday 29 May to Friday 30 May 2005

The last thing in Chicago on Flashy’s list was Navy Pier, done last night. Dead as a doornail last time he was here in September 2007 and not much different last night either. It is a very long and beautifully constructed building in brick, with neat garden approaches and very clean. This description could be applied to many of the attractions we have visited this trip. It’s really a big food hall with outside amusement park for kids, including a carousel and Ferris wheel. Or, according tour architectural boat guide, a Chicago wheel, as this engineering masterpiece was invented by Mr George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. for the 1893 Chicago World’s Columbian Exposition.

Thursday was a late start and off to the airport for another short but unimpressive United Airlines flight to Buffalo. So far, we have been in the states of Texas, Florida, Colorado, Oregon, Washington, Illinois and now in New York. From Buffalo airport we grab a VW Jetta and drive the short distance to Niagara Falls, a small town spread along the banks of the Niagara River and the edge of some famous waterfall.

Our Anchor Motel is so last century! A relic of the 1960’s in brown brick, polystyrene ceiling tiles and stained VJ pine feature wall. An ancient bathroom with light green tiles and a nice black feature trim tile - but hot water - after a while and a clean and comfortable bed. We refrain from looking under the bed.

Friday, we slept in until after 10.00 am as the curtains, the nice sky blue ones, kept out the morning sun and we are only one of two rooms of the 22 that are occupied, so nice and quiet. Our research last night, on the dodgy internet, indicated that today would be the best weather wise to do Niagara Falls. However, there were no available seats on the boat trip. Lady P decided to wing it and see what transpired.

We drove into the park in beautiful sunshine, right up to the front parking lot. Not a lot of people about either. The infrastructure to this famous attraction is impressive. Gardens designed by Frederick Olmsted, the landscape architect who also designed Central Park NYC, among others. Again, very clean and easy to get around with lots of Park staff. Thank God it’s not summer! It is also the border crossing with Canada, as the border runs through the middle of the river, so there’s lots of uniformed and armed blokes about at the checkpoint. It looks to be the same on the Canadian side.

So, an easy park spot, then to the front of the queue to the Maid of the Mist boat tour to the bottom of the two falls - America and Horseshoe. Clearly not booked out and the boat about a third full. Don’t always trust the internet!

At first glance, the falls seem impressive. At least when viewed from the top and the start of the rapids. Then you notice they are only 52 metres high. My goodness, Blencoe Falls back home is four times that height. Impressive volume of water here though. They say 60,000 gallons per second. Oh well, let’s see what they look like from the bottom.

You hop on The Maid of the Mist boat, put on a plastic poncho and elbow your way to the front. Again, not so impressive from the water either. Then you are encapsulated by water mist. Like flying through a cloud. You see nothing. You hear the falls- just, because the silly tourists around you are all hollering and hooting as if they’d never seen rain or water mist before. Wet sleeves, trousers and shoes. Fun for some I suppose. The boat turns around at Horseshoe Falls. These are the widest and most impressive, although still only 52 metres tall. Still, tall enough to kill a few people who thought going over them in a barrel was a good idea. You get pretty close to the bottom and get to see about half of them through the mist. This is the only part of the whole experience, that you get a feel for the massive volume of water pouring over the falls. Then it’s over.

Flashy’s reckons that it’s over hyped and under delivered. If he were to die tomorrow without seeing Niagara Falls, he couldn’t care less.

The trip towards home took us through the downtown of Niagara Falls. Nothing. Less said the better. Then on to Tonawanda North, a small but cute little town on the outskirts of Buffalo. Along the river front, we stopped at a brightly coloured bar/restaurant called Old Man River and being the only two of three other customers, had a beer, a Coke and three small sliders (country fried chicken, pulled pork and brisket).

Lady P informs us that tonight, in said Tonawanda’s Riviera Theatre, there is a Queen tribute band playing. No two tickets together, says the internet. Practically a full house. We decide to visit the theatre while checking out the town for a decent steak for tonight. The fruit bat strangely needs red meat.

Goodness me. We swoop again. The band, as we walk into the box office, has just released two tickets in row S from their allocation. Otherwise, the box office lady informs us, it’s opening night and a full house. $20 a ticket seems cheap. Again, don’t trust the internet. It seems that most restaurants in town are also fully booked but we do get a booking for Saturday at the flash looking French place across the road from the theatre.

A quick trip back home, via a laundromat and change into going out to the theatre clothes. Then back to the theatre and into the lobby bar in time for a Chardonnay and some people watching. They don’t dress for the theatre hereabouts. Many in jeans. Some in shorts and thongs. A lady comments on Lady P’s smart scarf. We got frisked by the heavily tattooed, black clad security staff, some with pistols on their hips and enter the theatre. As imagined, the 1930’s Beaux Arts interior is reminiscent of the old Regent or Royal theatres we grew up with – and yes, it is a full house.

Queen Nation, the tribute band were very good, particularly the drummer and the room went off (as much as 60/70+ year olds can). Home, in now chilly and wintery weather.